the sun

Perhaps you guessed, but I haven't been posting lately because i'm employed--that's right, employed. No longer on house arrest due to lack of money, I spend my spare time getting out and seeing things. This gives me more fodder for my blog (blodder, says little thinker) but it also gives me less time to write. Or, it appears, no time to write. I'll try to be better.

On Friday, the warmest day of the year so far, my friend met me in the Loop for lunch. Being pasty winter white and warm fresh air deprived, we stepped outside with our lunches and went in search of sun. It was harder than it sounds to find. But we did, eventually, find a spot of sun in a little plaza next to the second-tallest building in Chicago. It was covered with concrete. But at least there was sun--and it was warm.

I must confess I don't actively think about all the time I spend in the shade--walking through the streets of downtown, traveling via the train, working in my cubicle, hanging out in my garden apartment. But when I realize there's no place in Chicago to escape like I used to in Santa Barbara, to the beach, or to Campus Point, or even to the grass by the lagoon, I feel a little claustrophobic. The benefits of living in a city are many, but I miss being able to sit by the beach and loose myself in the waves, and the blue sky, and the salt water smell. I could sit by the lake, but it's never really possible to escape the sound of traffic by the lake, unless I left the city. If I had a car I could leave the city occasionally, but living car-less is one of the main benefits of living in a city.

The only place I can really escape is when i'm on my bicycle, with the morning sun on my face as i'm riding to work. There are cars and streetlights and asphalt, but there's also wind, moderately fresh air, and a wonderful feeling of freedom. But today it poured. And my bike seems to ride worse every time I get on it, and yesterday I had to leave it locked somewhere on my way home from work because it was becoming increasingly evident, the closer home I got, that it needed some work.

I guess i'm making due without nature. But I wish it wasn't so difficult to find.